You Don’t Need to Fix Your Life. You Might Just Need to Soften It.

The start of the year is a natural reflection point and I keep noticing the same quiet feeling, in myself and in so many people I speak to. A sense of “I should be doing better than this.” Better organised. More motivated. More grateful. More on top of things.

As if there’s something wrong with us because life feels heavy. But honestly, what I see most often isn’t a lack of effort. It’s tiredness. The deep kind. the kind wear you feel weary when you’ve just woken up.

Emotional tiredness.

When you’re emotionally tired, even good ideas feel like too much. Even rest can feel uncomfortable, like its just something else you’re doing wrong.

This is why I wanted to start The Joy Letter this January with something very simple, and very human: You don’t need to fix your life. You might just need to soften it.

When life feels louder than you can manage

For a lot of people, things don’t fall apart in one dramatic moment.
They slowly pile up. Years of pushing through.
Of being the responsible one.
Of coping.
Of scrolling.
Of absorbing noise, news, expectations, comparison, pressure.

Eventually something inside us says, this is too much now. Not in a crisis way.
Just in a quiet, flat, joyless way that’s hard to explain. A way where rather than feeling too much we struggle to feel anything at all. And because it’s quiet, we often turn it against ourselves.
We compare ourselves and berate ourselves for not being more thankful. We assume we’re failing.

We’re not.

We’re responding exactly as a nervous system does when it’s had enough.

Joy isn’t something you force

I think we’ve been taught that joy is something you have to earn. That if you work on yourself hard enough, you’ll get there. That the right routine, tools or mindset will fix how you feel.

But joy doesn’t really work like that.

Think about a time when you have felt true joy in the past. Joy tends to show up when things feel safer. When there’s less pressure. When the body isn’t bracing and anticipating a demand or catastrophe all the time.

That’s why trying to “be happier” can actually feel stressful.
It’s often one more thing we’re asking of ourselves.

What helps more is doing less.

Less noise.
Less urgency.
Less telling yourself you should be different.

A gentler way of thinking about joy

When I talk about slow joy, this is what I mean.

Not shrinking your life.
Not lowering your standards.
Just choosing kindness over force.

Slow joy can be very ordinary.

It might be:

• noticing one small good moment
• doing something with your hands
• sitting with a warm drink without distraction
• stepping outside for a few quiet minutes

None of this is about fixing yourself.
It’s about coming back to yourself.

Something to hold onto this week

If this letter gives you anything this week, I hope it’s a bit of permission for 2026.

Permission to go slower than you think you should.
Permission to let things be simple.
Permission to stop treating rest like a task.

You don’t need a big plan.
You don’t need to change everything.

Just notice one moment that feels slightly lighter.
That’s enough for now.

I’m really glad you’re here.

Rebecca