When Joy Goes Missing

Most of the time joy doesn’t disappear loudly. It doesn’t make a fuss or a grand exit. It just… goes quiet. You’re still showing up. Still doing the things you are supposed to do. Still functioning. But inside, things feel different:

Flatter, muted.
As if the colour has drained from your days.

If this is where you are at right now, I want you to know something gently, clearly and without judgement:

You are not broken. You are not failing at joy. You are not ungrateful.

You are mentally and emotionally tired.

Burnout doesn’t always look like overwhelm, tears and intense emotions.
Most often it looks like numbness.
Like struggling to feel much of anything at all.

This is your body’s way of protecting you when it’s been carrying too much for too long. When it is too overwhelmed to choose which emotions to disconnect you from, so it disconnects you from all of them.

And here’s the part we don’t talk about enough:
When you’re burnt out, being told to “find joy” can feel exhausting in itself.

So today, we’re not searching for joy.
We’re not forcing gratitude or positivity.

Instead, we’re simply making space. Space for the possibility that joy doesn’t need to be chased. That we can be quietly confident that it will return, on its own terms and in its own time.

Joy as relief

Often, joy comes back first as relief. – A moment where the shoulders drop. A deeper breath than the one before. A noticing of warmth, light or stillness.

If joy feels missing for you right now, that doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.

My gentle invitation is this:

What would it look like to stop demanding joy from yourself, and simply allow yourself to be where you are?

That, too, is a form of self care.

And sometimes letting go, is the very thing that lets joy find its way back.

This reflection is part of a growing project called The Joy Letter — a space for slow, gentle moments of calm when life feels heavy.

With warmth,